She wanted to be numb but he still felt like home.
I needed to see you again to say goodbye hoping it would lead to a once more
Silly of me I know, keeping someone who doesn’t want to be kept
Taking you for granted…premeditated pain because I knew I’d get away with it, I didn’t care
I knew you’d always be there but I’m not ashamed of it…it was a game and I gained more than I came here with
It was effortless the way you loved me something I couldn’t return
You weren’t afraid of commitment but me, I refused any guarantees to liability
All I craved was your admiration and compliments
Content with your incompetence, I wasn’t loyal to you
Just faithful to what you did for my confidence
See my ego was bruised way before you and it ripped me to shreds
Listening to all the lies they fed, those words never led to action
They would keep filling me up to drain me, such sick satisfaction
You saw in me substance I’ve never felt
So I stood on your shoulders to gain another notch under my belt
Then that draining feeling returned but this time it wasn’t for me
I tried breaking you down but you knew your worth and couldn’t let that be
You deserve your forgiveness…
I sure as hell don’t
You didn’t want to be in a cage but couldn’t rage towards freedom
The quicksand cemented an invisible fear of leaving someone you thought you could help.
and as I gazed upon the stars in the night sky I saw your eyes; You shielded me from your beautiful mess and like a crescent moon, I hid beneath your shadows
These galaxies have now formed between us…
I hope she loves you like I couldn’t.
We were worthy of a story
Our ink bled on the pages like rain falling from a thousand heavens
Like valleys turned to rivers, we danced ’til we were drenched in it
Now I look to cloudy skies hoping you’ll fall for me again.
I ran from the very thing I didn’t want to become only to evolve into it anyway
Yet you vowed to purify me
But I was the drug you were addicted to
Saw what I did to you, to us…
I wasn’t of substance I just abused you
I needed you broken
So you’d be easier to control
The fear of losing you was too great
If you only believed you were great, you would have abandoned me
So I kept you and my insecurities apart
With the lies
Honestly, I lied because I knew I could…
I lied because it was easier than goodbye
People panic in the presence of a powerful psyche.
Your sanity is a lie. A suffocating sin smothered by shifty eyes and saddened smiles until its authenticity slyly seeps through…leaving you in a steaming stack of smoldering scraps. Substantial shards of your brokenness, that you sharpen against others that are shattered too.