Sensibility

I’m different now because what we went through it changed me

We had the same hiding place but inconsistent intentions

I figured out I couldn’t grow buried beneath your monsters too

So in order for me to be free it was necessary to let you go

I’m different now because I know I don’t need you to improve

But I don’t regret our time, I learned a lot about me and from you

At first I couldn’t recognize that I was dodging a bullet, I just knew we were proof

That two damaged people could keep each other from falling apart

I’m different now because I’m strong enough to accept your part in my story being over

You were a tough lesson to learn I just hate that I kept repeating it

I finally made me top priority

I’m different now

Crippled Contents

I wanted you to stitch the torn pieces of me back together

Sew the shredded fragments of ripped reliance so that I’d be whole again

I just knew that if you ran your fingers across my seams they’d be invisible because perfect was you

Even the sky admitted it…

The rain fell gently, the wind whispered your name

The sun resented your glow

You were art and I craved your brush’s stroke

But we traded heartbreak instead…

Your courage was ragged too

The dark clouds obscured a bruised psyche that quietly complimented my flawed existence

We were balanced destruction…

Equally ravaged and mentally vandalized

Our defective ways fulfilled an eternal bond

Finding You

You’re married to the pain and terrified to divorce it because your complete individuality has been established by upset and affliction. It’s something you’ve always received and accepted, as it’s customary to your life. Suffering…it’s all around you. It’s in your stride and your thoughts, even in the way you allow others to handle you. They dole out their weakness and you absorb it mentally staining a confidence you never knew. You’re designed by distress and composed of hurt. Afraid of life outside of it because you are clueless to who you are without it. People have always let you down and rejection seemed natural. Intimidation of things unfamiliar shouldn’t dominate your want for change. You must be starved of worry and gain a deep desire to heal.

Picture Perfect

You didn’t get the picture until you were out of it…

I was constantly sandwiched between asinine thoughts of ‘true love is like this’ and ‘it’s supposed to feel this way’

I invested in you and it cost me everything I was…

You’d leave and I’d still pray that wherever you were, the stars lit your night skies

While you preyed on my sincerity

Doing everything in my power to get you to come back safely regardless of the extent of the damage you caused when you left…

My loyalty to you, was deeply rooted

Hopeless to eradicate…

I wasn’t lost

I knew my worth

I didn’t fear you

I didn’t even need you

I just despised being alone until loneliness became familiar

You’d “change” when you thought you were losing me

Then retrocede when I’d return for more

Repeatedly rebounding…

I saturated the pillows with my feelings for you until I was empty